A Noble Crusade: Willy's Will to Carry Out His Will

On the way towards the hill where he will be crucified, Jesus Christ walked almost 600 meters from Poncious Pilate’s Palace to Mount Calvary. That distance is roughly equivalent to a seven-minute walk, covering about three-quarters of the length of SM City Pampanga. He had to do this while lifting a cross with an estimate of 75 kilograms. This was like carrying a one-and-a-half sack of rice on one's back.

This unimaginable suffering of Jesus Christ during his crucifixion took almost three hours. For many, this is just as fast as cooking their favorite bulalo, but for Him who was already beaten and flogged, this meant a lifetime of torture, agony, and mockery. He met His demise after losing five liters of His blood—the same amount an average adult human body contains.

As a way to remember His sacrifices and commemorate His passion, for several centuries, Christians around the world have been commemorating the Holy Week. For the faithful, this is the holiest time, a solemn moment for atonement. It lasts for seven days, from Palm to Easter Sunday.

In the Philippines, it is known as ‘Mahal na Araw’, where devotees offer a religious and cultural experience, giving the people a detailed demonstration of Jesus Christ’s passion, death, and resurrection. This includes a bloody spectacle called 'Penitensya', an act of self-flagellation and crucifixion to seek repentance and ask for forgiveness.

The province of Pampanga is among the common places to visit if one aims to watch or experience the tradition. Among the Kapampangan penitents who willingly have themselves nailed on crosses to reenact Jesus Christ’s suffering and death is Wilfredo “Willy” Salvador, a 68-year-old bachelor from San Juan, City of San Fernando.

Lifting His Life's Own Cross

All of us carry different weights and baggage as we move forward in life. This is not different from Mang Willy who nearly lost his life from a disease back in 2003. It was so severe, but his family had difficulty figuring what it was. He said that he has been struggling to sleep almost everyday, always feeling anxious, and consistently experiencing nervous breakdowns. The crisis pushed him to visit faith healers, believing that witchcraft and sorcery is behind it. Despite that, he never felt better.

That year became one of his darkest times because at one point, he realized that he no longer wanted to live. He decided to take his own life by strangling himself, but the rope snapped. This is when he realized that it is not his time yet, so he decided to continue his hobby of traveling to different places to somehow forget his struggles. With only 50 pesos in his pocket, he explored Pasay, Balintawak, and Quezon City hoping to entertain himself and search for his life’s meaning.

In 2006, he suddenly started to slowly feel better. For Mang Willy, this is a miracle, because who would have thought that someone who almost gave up before can still stand up and have a second chance in life? As a way to thank the Creator for his health, he pledged to offer his life and start doing his vow or 'panata' because he feels like it is what he is destined to do.

“Merong himala, kung ano ang gusto ng Panginoon, ‘yun ang mangyayari.”

(Miracles exist, whatever the Lord wants, it will happen.)

Passion to Reenact Jesus Christ's Passion

“Mararamdaman mong babaon ‘yung pako sa kamay at paa mo, talagang masakit. Pero mas masakit kapag aalisin na, kapag hindi kinaya ng katawan mo, pwede kang mahimatay.”

(You’ll feel the nail piercing to your hands and feet. But it is more painful when they are removed, if your body can’t take it, it's possible you’ll faint.)

Being nailed on a cross with both your hands and feet holed by 6-8 inches stainless steel nails is painful and scary; it surely requires rigorous preparation. Yet, Mang Willy is not even fazed a little, because he believes that God's miracle would give him enough strength to endure.

During the day of his penitence, Mang Willy wakes up at 4:00 a.m. to prepare. His only meal is a cup of coffee, that would serve as his energizer for the event. He also said that being crucified is not as painful as we think it is, and he already got used to it. During his three-year panata at Cutud in Arayat, he only traveled by bicycle going back home to San Fernando, both places are 162 kilometers away from each other. He really has nerves of steel, because when he gets home he immediately washes the clothes he wore and cleans after.

Hearing his stories, it may seem that nothing can shake up Mang Willy. That may be true when it comes to physical pain, but what hurts him the most is when there are people who make him and what he does as a laughing stock. He sacrifices his health and his body for something he pledged his life on doing, and there is nothing funny about it.

For Mang Willy, we only have limited time in this world, that is why people should be more compassionate and respectful especially because we do not know the reason behind other people’s actions. We may only be small particles in the universe, but we all take up our own space.

“Ikatamung tau, atin tamu ngan hangganan, minsan kabud na daratang. Ing metung a tau megsimula yang malati, mig tas ya, ena dapat kalingwan itang anyang malati ya pa.”

(We humans have our endings, sometimes it suddenly comes. A person started from something small, has grown, he/she should not forget those times when he/she was little.)

He also added that he does not feel any remorse towards people who hurt and hit him during his reenactments because they are part of the role he has chosen. What matters to him the most is being able to play his role effectively and carry out his panata efficiently.

Blurry Vision, Clear Mission

Mang Willy has been fulfilling his panata for 18 years already. Despite old age and his blurring vision because of cataracts on both eyes, he remained having a clear mission. He never once thought of stopping the tradition because he firmly believes that it is his life’s purpose. Even if it is possible that he would turn blind one day, he said that it won’t stop him from fulfilling his will. Until the day when his body can no longer handle the strain, he is willing to continue.

“Reng mata ku, medyu mapula nala uling matwa naku. Pero angga sigurung mabulag ku, makaramdam ku pa rin. E ku tatakut, hanggang agyu ku pa, hanggang agyu na ning katawan ku, at atin mag alalay kaku, malyari ku pa.”

(My eyes are starting to become blurry because I am already old. But even if I go blind, I still have other senses. I am not scared, until I can, until my body can, and until there are people to guide me, I can still do it.)

His family is worried for his health, but they said that he is stubborn and won’t listen. They came to slowly realize that their worries are in vain, because contrary to the thought that what he does puts strain on his body, they have seen that it is what makes him stronger.

He does not like to rest because he feels that it would make him weaker. When it is not Holy Week, Mang Willy is busy cleaning around the barangay and assisting their neighbors with some chores. He loves to help people in his own little ways, and it became his hobby to seek new things to do when bored.

Mang Willy is already at the twilight of his life, and he is aware that sooner or later, his body won’t be able to function just like before. Nonetheless, he is persistent to continue what he started no matter what. Even if he no longer has the strength to lift and carry a cross, he would continue his panata by looking for lighter and easier things he can do and contribute.

The Nexus Between Humanity and Religion

Despite the existence of the century-long tradition, Penitensya is not free from disapproval and doubts. There are people saying it is not a way to lessen but adds up to one’s sins for it is never right to waste blood. It was even labeled as a ‘religious-dark tourism’ for it incurs doubts in one’s faith and tears people apart. Up until today, the tradition, the penitents, and the devotees are still being put under hot water.

However, we should remember that our faith and beliefs are not so shallow to be easily shaken when doubted by others. We may be the seeker of our own truths, but it is never an excuse to shove down what you believe in other’s throats. The nexus between humanity and religion is complex, but both go hand in hand with the other. Humanity is the foundation of religion, and religion can be a foundation for humanity.

We may view the Penitensya from different lenses, but we should always foster understanding and respect because whether we believe in it or not, from centuries ago and for centuries to come, there will always be people like Mang Willy who will continue their noble crusade.

Sacrifice is already a promised promise, witnessed by the nails and the crosses. Penitents would continuously walk hundred of meters barefoot while lifting at least 50 kilogram crosses to show their commitment and fulfill their vows. After all, this can be what makes them stronger and tougher, which allows them to gain the energy and the courage to continue walking through life while carrying their life’s own cross.

Let us never leave a hole in our hearts judging other people’s beliefs because when you look at Mang Willy’s palms, you will never see a hole left by the nail in the cross. A miracle, indeed.